Talking about cancer

Whether you’re a patient or carer, adult or child, talking about your illness, fears, hopes, needs or feelings may not be easy.

If you have cancer you may desperately want to talk… but you may worry about burdening your friends and family. Will they be able to cope if you get upset or angry? Will they become distressed if they are reminded about your illness?

If you’re a carer you may not be sure how much your relative or friend wants to talk about their illness. Of course you want to help, but you may be afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing.

Talking with children can bring particular problems. Should you tell your child about your illness? Will you upset them? How much will they be able to understand, and what should you actually say?

If it’s your child who is ill, how can you possibly explain their cancer to them? Will talking with them upset you and make you lose control?

There are several good booklets and websites that may help you at this difficult time (see below).

You may also like to contact a local or national support group, or visit one of our Cancer Information Centres. You may be able to chat with someone who understands how you are feeling, and who can help you to work out how best to talk with those close to you.

Booklets and web links

Benefits of talking about your cancer
Macmillan factsheet. It contains practical advice to help patients talk about their needs and feelings.

Taking time: support for people with cancer
On-line booklet produced by the National Cancer Institute (America). It offers useful advice on coping with feelings and concerns, including communicating.

Talking to children when an adult has cancer
Macmillan Cancer Support booklet. Subjects include when to tell children you have cancer, how to explain your treatment to them, answering questions, and talking about dying.

Young people with cancer: a handbook for parents
On-line booklet produced by the National Cancer Institute (America). It includes a section on talking with children about their cancer.

The secret C – straight talking about cancer
Book published by Winston’s Wish, 32 pages, ISBN: 0 953912 30 2.
This book is written by a psychologist. It aims to help children and adults to talk more openly about issues and feelings. The book is most suitable for the 7-10 age group, and is best read by children and adults together.